Why is it that some people can take or leave food, and others struggle every day? There certainly does seem to be a disparity. And then yesterday, Cheryl asked me: "why do I keep eating - even after I am done eating my dinner?" Since I have heard this from others before, I felt compelled to write about it and try to make some sense of it.
Let's look at this issue of continuous eating. First, it is a learned behavior. Somewhere in Cheryl's background, she started to snack and nibble after dinner. Why?
a. Could be to clean up small portions of leftovers because the amount leftover was not enough for another meal, but she didn't want to throw it out. This is the most frequent reason this habit starts, but is by no means the only one.
b. Or, Cheryl didn't want to leave what the kids left on their plate. That little bite here, a dollop there. Cheryl didn't want to waste it. And her kids don't care if they leave it on their plate. When they are full, they are done. That's it. They know they will get fed again.
c. Could be not wanting the meal time to end. Perhaps Cheryl likes the comfortable feeling in the kitchen and doesn't want to spend time in the family room watching shows she doesn't like..but has no control over what is being watched.
Many times the causes begin to overlap. But it really doesn't matter. Which ever the cause may be, the result is the same. The habit is now formed and is comforting to Cheryl.
For Cheryl in particular, she needs to reexamine her history and try to determine when it started. She needs to find out when she started asking herself the question: "why do I keep eating"? That is going to give her the first clue as to why. Once she understands where it started and why, the challenge is in finding out how to stop it.
First thing Cheryl should do is keep a record for a week on how many calories she eats after dinner. The sheer doing of this exercise is an eye opener to how many extra calories she is consuming without even thinking about it.
Second, she needs to ask herself what she gets out of it. If its pleasure, she could try putting soothing music on that will relax her. Or she could delegate "kitchen duty" to other family members certain nights so that she may watch a favorite show of hers at that time in the family room. That could make Cheryl feel worthwhile and that her needs are just as important as any one else's.
Thirdly, Cheryl needs to write it out and post on refrigerator door, that her after dinner mindless noshing is over. That movie is done. It's now out of circulation.